I know for some ways, you just meant to use me to recover for the pain. To let them see that its not really hurting your soul. Pretending you were okay. Not affected. And then, here I am. The foolish one, who fell in love with you so much though I shouldn’t be. I tried not to. But no matter how much I try I’d still look for you and I’ll fell in love over and over again. And what if one day, if I’m tired of being this? If either I realized how stupid I was when I fell for you. What if one day, I’ll end up this big joke. Would you even care?
Never have thought that the guy who I ignored, will be the same guy I fell in love with, unexpectedly, unreasonable, unexplained. I had never planned of loving you. I was too afraid. I held on like that, so I can ease the pain quickly. It was so hard accepting you. I mean not you. But the people over your pasts, and the currently.
We can’t let go of what just got started. We’ll end up with that forever that you’ve said. I accepted you, I let you in though I’m not sure about being hurt, cause I know that from the very first time, that’s the risk that I’m taking. But what about now?
Just tell me how the word gonna work through this somehow? I just need to know if this was real, or if its just a game. I just need to know if I need to keep playing, but unluckily I have no choice by then. I already loved you at an unexpected time. If this wasn’t true then please just let me go. I deserve better than to feel pain. I deserve better than being fooled by you, or to fool around with you.
I know its going to be hard, but I’ve accepted all the things. Though it hurts, though is hard. You’re not the typical guy I wished to be with. But with not of too much reasons, I fell in love with you. At first, I never thought this was going to be real. Then everything came just like it was so true. But things were too different, its too hard to see if this was real now. Para kong nangangapa kung ano ba talaga yung totoo. Gusto kong maniwalang totoo pero ang daming gumugulo sakin. I wanted to go, but now I just can’t. Its enough to say that I am weak, but it was so easy falling in love with you. You’re so damn easy to love, you showed me gentleness, care, and what is like to be loved by someone who knows how to give it without me asking how its going to be. After 2 years I found you. I found someone accidentally when I so miserable. I never thought by the time I saw you for the first time you could be someone I’ll have for reasons not to be sad at those blues.
MAYBE ITS TIME TO WORK OUT AGAIN THAN HAVING A GLASS OF BEER
I wanted to fall in love. I want to love you with all of I am. But fear haunts me. The doubts that always came everytimeI want to say I love you each and everytime I am with you. We are completely both in a mess. Not just me, the both of us. And its typically cool. We could chill, hang out, and got the common things we want. Like the party, the usual. We could chill out together then, no more hiding. We could see each other drunk and its absolutely so damn cool!!! I have been dreaming this for ‘bout a heck cause I couldn’t have a man without changing me until a someone loved me without ever wanting to change me…