I don’t know how long will I wait for you to love me back again. I’m not sure when. I don’t know how… But I wish you would. I hope you’ll realize that what I did is not a reason to break us. Rather to stop you from loving me. I could feel that you don’t see things for loving me, that you just need me now. Since that day, that’s all that was left for me. Waiting. Hanging. Like a fool. But I got used to it cause I should. I’m so sorry for what I’ve done. I wanted to say that to you over and over again. So that I could show you how really sorry I am. And how desperate I was to win you back again
There are still doubts, and I still can’t help myself from it. The last month, it was still fine with me if you leave, or if you find someone else better than me. But now, thinking about losing you… I can’t even visualize how will I deal with that. I fell inlove with you more than\ I want, more than I ever could. But if I’ll have to lose you, please just kill me. Please
Love is ain’t perfect. But being able to be loved by this man makes me understand why love means so much more than perfections.
There’s just that sudden moment that I would feel so afraid. Like my heart is breaking into pieces. And think of that I’m crazy but I don’t know exactly why. I’ll just felt that sudden pain, heartbreak, fear, second thoughts. Many had asked me why him? He got a lot of chic. I tried to search for reasons why. I found some. Maybe its just that I’m destined to be like this. To accept him, ‘tho it sucks cause damn its too unacceptable for them to understand why. Maybe I understand him way more than pushing him away. I knew a lot things but that doesn’t gave me any reason to unlove him. Wherever the pain takes me, I’ll go with it until I know for sure you’re mine. But when the day comes by that I feel like you’re not my man anymore, we’ll let go of the promises…
I could feel the excitement, the butterflies, how the spark flies, and how love was so perfect every time we are together. But somehow, I’m still afraid of the things. I’m getting used of this. That all I’ve got to feel is to be loved by you. I am forgetting how will things gonna get used to. I mean, there’s no perfect side of love (that’s the reality) if you chose to put yourself in the game, be ready for the play. I thought I was gonna be ready for it for the very first time. But this is me, the fool one. I fell in love with you so much. That I can’t even see how will I stand for the possibilities of getting hurt. And that wasn’t things are supposed to be. How can I be ready for that very moment that you won’t be saying you miss me, or you love me. How can I be ready for that one day that you won’t be loving me? Or.. How can I stand if I found out that you just fooled me…. Yah maybe right. I really fell in love with this joke. But now, is this the reality? Our feelings. Your feelings. Was is true?